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Mike, kiss her........Tales from Carnaval

Posted on Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Thanks to my Brazilian Brother, Ronaldo, I have a very interesting story to tell about walking around in Rio during Carnaval


February 18, 2012……2nd official day of Carnaval and my 3rd day in Rio. It was a hot day, my morning started at 6am. The 1st bloco started at 7am in the famous hilltop neighborhood of Santa Teresa.
Santa Teresa

I am supposed to meet Renata and friends somewhere in Santa Teresa for the bloco. I make my way down the hill and have been trying to contact Renata to find her location. Cell Reception is bad and the music is loud even from far away. She is with Ana Paula and Raphael. Text tag and phone tag end with Renata telling me that they weren't going to make it or find me. At first, I'm a little annoyed but after walking down the winding streets, I quickly understand why. The street is a sea of people. Thousands between me and the bottom of the hill. 


This is going to take forever to navigate I'm thinking. Eventually I join the crowd. Costumed men and women, afro wigs, cans of beer, and samba blaring. I'm stuck in a crowd of people slowly moving, not knowing where it will lead, but I'm enjoying it.

That was much pretty much the story of my day. Bloco in Santa Teresa followed by bloco in Ipanema, where I finally meet up with Renata & crew

Ana Carolina, Raphael, Renata & Me
and proceed to another bloco in a section of the city called Glória. And of course during day there has been plenty of beer. Eventually we meet up with Ronaldo and this is where the story begins. With Ronaldo's arrival, I started to drink more and was preparing for the night at the Sambadrome. Ronaldo had arranged a pair of tickets for me and my friend, Adriana. She decided change before we departed for São Cristóvão and while waiting Ronaldo and I decided to have a few more beers, walk around, and maybe find some girls or just chill. 
Marina da Glória

Since the bloco was over in Gloria, most of the people were gone. We just talked a bit and ended up wandering into a bar for a few shots of cachaca. As stated earlier, I had been drinking ALL DAY, so after the shots I was really feeling it.

We left the bar to continue walking, and waiting. So we walk…..and walk……and walk some more then all of a sudden Ronaldo is talking to some random girl. She was chocolate complexion, big smile, and wearing a police uniform with a wig on.
She kinda looked like one of them.....I think

 Of course, they were speaking in Portuguese and I didn't understand most of what they were saying until Ronaldo said "Ele é Americano" (He is American). She gave him a weird look like…..who?!……..him?!…..no! and then starts to, what I perceive to be, a back and forth of him convincing her that I am truly American. This went on for 5 minutes until mid-sentence, all of a sudden, Ronaldo turns to me and says "Mike, kiss her" in heavily accented English. I immediately turn to him, say "what?!?"But since I'm in Brazil, I didn't hesitate for long and went in for the kiss and she was VERY cooperative . Tongue and all, very good kiss. Cool. Wasn't expecting that but hey, it's Brazil, in Rio, during Carnival. Everybody is supposed to kiss somebody right?


After the kiss, she starts speaking to me (in portuguese of course)  and in my intoxicated state, all I could say is "what?!" Further proof that even though I may look Brazilian, and may be carrying myself like a Brazilian, I'm still very much American. So during this horrible exchange of Portuguese and English, I turned to Ronaldo with a look that says "MFer, translate!!" and you know what he does?? He says "Mike, kiss her again"…….. Welp... good enough for me and here we go again . Tonguing each other down in the middle of sidewalk and nobody gives a damn. I love it! After this second kiss, I have to get her number or something. We can definitely continue this. This is also where my story gets a little fuzzy. Cachaca will do that to ya.


Somehow she put her number in my phone and I thought I had called it. Unfortunately 12 hours later, when I woke up, after spending all night at the sambadrome, I look at my call list and there is nothing. The last call was to Ronaldo from earlier that previous afternoon……..MERDE!!
Partner in Crime




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